intrigeri:
Hi,
Mark Smith wrote (11 Mar 2014 17:23:58 GMT) :
OK by me. My only suggestion is to consider changing the last one to:
"Please wait while a connection to the Tor network is established."
Just my 2cts: most technical documentation style guides I've read recommend to avoid the passive voice.
Suggestions then? If you've read a large number of style guides, your direct input would be even more valuable than negative feedback by itself.
"Please wait while we establish a connection to the Tor network."?
Is "we" too unclear to be an active subject? That was my initial estimation, but maybe it is still better than passive.
"Please wait while Tor establishes a network connection" is another option.
Are either of these acceptable? If not, do you have another suggestion?