I wonder if talking about gender in this way is new to you. If it is, then this mailing list isn't the best place for you to learn how different people talk and think about gender.
Teen Vogue has a great FAQ on gender pronouns here: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/they-them-questions-answered
And there are other excellent resources online.
T
Thanks, teor, I agree with you. - Katie